No one warned me I would resent my husband like I do

No one warned me I would resent my husband like I do


The decision to be with my husband for the rest of my life was a mix between luck, love and smarts. Luck because, in this crazy world with billions of people I found someone whom I wanted to spend all of my good and bad days with for the rest of my life and I found that person after only a few trial and errors. Love because, throughout our ten-year relationship I have proven to myself time and time again that I love this man more then anything. Smarts because, in-between all of the luck and love my husband and I consciously decide to work hard for each other and choose one another everyday and some days more then others, it will take a lot of effort and commitment. We both acknowledge that even on those hard days we are worth it and want to be together.
Throughout our relationship we have gone through our fair share of trials and tribulations as a couple and had those epic, id like to call them battles, game of throne style instead of fights (we started dating when we were really young) but through constantly growing individually and with each other in the last couple years we’ve really found our communication groove. Also, side note, Thomas sits in on my therapy sessions whenever I need him to and its really helped with how we react to each others behaviour and how we understand each others needs.

I had a pretty shitty pregnancy of feeling horrible for a good 7 months straight. Throughout that time my husband was so patient with me, had to pick up the slack of life’s responsibilities that we would normally share, tend to pretty much my every need, completely renovated a new home from top to bottom, and the list goes on and on really. I’m truly blessed to be with someone who loves me so much and puts forward so much effort to make me happy.
During delivery I got to experience a whole new level of love and support from my husband. I was extremely drugged up (which I highly recommend) on dilaudid and fentanyl in my epidural during my labour so maybe it would have been a different experience if I was more verbally abusive during those moments, who knows, but prob not, he was prepared from myself and many nurses for that delivery abuse! But even though I wasn’t feeling the intense pain in those hours of delivery I will never forget the support and team work we had together bringing our child into the world. After delivery you don’t get an epidural for recovery and mine was really rough and just as he showed throughout my pregnancy and delivery he was there to help in anyway he could.
After I delivered my husband had two weeks off to help me recover, bond with our new baby and start to learn how to navigate this new life together. He did those two weeks with grace, patience, love and so much support.
We are coming into month three of Amadeo being in this world and I’m starting to feel a lot of different emotions for my husband. Yes, the love and all that other stuff is very much there, but I can’t help but constantly feel so much resentment, anger, and frustration towards him as of late.

I feel like this is really important not only for my self to admit and acknowledge but to talk about opening with other women and have men read this as well. The reason being is that us women have truly been through the fucking ringer. We went through 9 months of our bodies changing, hormones raging and then abusing our bodies with birth once again. Then after this beautiful creature pops out of us it’s a whole new (for me much more intense) ball game of our bodies changing, hormones raging and then abusing our bodies with motherhood. I find myself having a constant internal battle of not feeling anything like myself but feeling more me then I ever have. I find myself wishing for my old life when naps and sleep weren’t a luxury, when I showered every day or took a nice uninterrupted bath if I wanted, when I could prep, cook and clean a meal at whatever time I wanted, when I could go a pick something up from the grocery store and it take 15 minutes total, when I worked and felt like I was adding value to someone else’s life, and then the next minute truly loving this new adventure and all of those things from my old life I don’t want any of it back because of this precious boy whom I cant imagine life without. See the thing that I’ve started to realize is when you take away from the equation of thinking and experiencing these things on your own you realize that most if not all women are feeling this way. Most women are finding this crazy new life really fucking hard and easy and beautiful and ugly and wonderful all at the same time just like you!

Through therapy I’ve learnt stragies to recognize when I’m using my emotional brain or my rational brain.
It doesn’t seem to matter what my husband does lately I find myself building up this hatred and resentment towards him from the littlest things.
I’m home alone all day with Amadeo that has come off an all night with Amadeo, repeat x 5 and by Friday I’m SOOO angry he’s been at work all day, like really angry wanting him to quit and stay at home with me forever. This scenario that I have been experiencing every week is not only from my emotional brain but the change in my hormones and mental health. When I take a second to turn on my rational brain I can recognize that my husband is the hardest working man I’ve ever met. He cares so much for what he does and to provide the life that we and after working a 5:30 to 6:30 straight day in manual labour he comes home and immediately checks on me and our son, he goes and showers and then right away takes him from my arms so I can make dinner and eat it warm and he does that on repeat x5 and by Friday he’s so excited to be able to give me a break during Friday and Saturday night so I can sleep and he can do more at home with me and our son.
It kills me because even though I have this rational brain that sees and recognizes my amazing husband and what he does, I still end up building this resentment towards him.
This is, and is going to be a constant work in progress to work on myself and getting me more leveled once again. Mental health for most women, especially after pregnancy and birth will be a constant up hill battle, but one that is so worth it. I believe in the power of support, therapy, medication when needed, and just constantly recognizing not being ashamed to admit when your struggling and being aware that there are reasons that you are feeling the way you are feeling, and by putting forth that effort to constantly better yourself will yield results for you to be living a more balanced emotional life.
I brought up this topic at a weekly mommy meet up to see if anyone else could relate and all the other women either have gone through feeling like this towards their husbands in the past or are currently feeling this way now as well. Opening up that dialog made me instantly not feel like I’m the crazy Satanic bitch of a wife and know that it’s a normal hormonal reaction and will get better. In the mean time I will constantly be taking steps back to acknowledge how great of a father and man my husband is, and all he pushes himself to do. When I recognize and see the effort he puts forward I will try my best to verbalize how grateful I am of him and how much happiness he brings to my life.
This crazy life I think is best lived when you can be authentic and put forward and acknowledge your faults and seek help to make things better. You don’t need to do the hard things (motherhood so far is the hardest, and best) all by yourself.
I have a tattoo on my left wrist that I got as a constant reminder to myself that no matter what you are experiencing in your life, this too shall pass.
I am in no way a professional counsellor and I am only speaking from my experience and sharing my opinions. If you want to know more information about the therapists I’ve seen or continue to seek, private message me. I do have amazing counsellors and therapists that I can recommend in the Ottawa area whom I trust and have yielded amazing personal results 😊

Photos by Cesoir Photography

Eric Carle Baby Shower

Photos by David @Cesoirstudios 

When Thomas and I were getting married I really wanted to skip the bridal shower. We had already been living together for almost three years and had everything we needed so it was a bit of an added stress trying to figure out logistics of a party between our four families.

Our baby shower on the other hand I was VERY excited to plan and decorate for!

We ended up hosting an Eric Carle themed party with around 100 people at our home for a co-ed BBQ with the help of our parents. Thomas’ mom and dad provided the mains and sides and my mom provided the cake and desserts. It truly was a picture perfect day filled with the spoiling’s of all our favourite people. We are blessed with wonderful loving families and friends who showed up to support us and celebrate the next wonderful chapter in our lives, we can’t thank you enough! Amadeo is the luckiest boy!

I wanted the Dessert table to be the star of the show at our Eric Carle themed shower. We rented the greenery backdrop and dessert table from @Pearldecor (they were our wedding decorators and now decorators for life!) Rasha is a DREAM to work with from start to finish and love and respect her as a creative and fierce entrepreneurial mother of a gorgeous little girl! I highly recommend looking into Pearl Decor for any of your party decorating needs!
This three tiered Very Hungry Caterpillar Cake was Salted Caramel , Vanilla and Chocolate.  Desserts by @dainadunker 

Daina makes such amazing Desserts that we had only two cupcakes and a bit of cake leftover after the shower!I’ve never seen guests enjoying baked goods like these before and we will never order from anywhere else again!! Highly recommend her services and expertize!

Very Hungry Caterpillar cake pops by @Dainadunker
A lot of our paper decorations I ordered off of Oriental Trading, usually I’m all for DIY projects for my parties however being 8 months pregnant this was the way to go!
Favor and Candy Buffet table 

We had a lot of children attend our shower and so I wanted activities and fun things set up for them to do and eat. Along with the take home pineapple cutting boards guests were encouraged to bring home lots of candy as well!

Food!!! We had a cooked pig, BBQ sausage’s and hot dogs, Pulled Pork, and about ten different salads to pair with veggies, chips and fruit! There is never a shortage of food at our parties (after all we are Italian) but there’s even more when our parents are providing and organizing the food!


The Most important part of our special day was sharing it with the people who mean the world to us and I know will mean the world to our son!

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“The Very Hungry Caterpillar” is a story about hope. You like the little caterpillar, will grow up, unfold your wings and fly off into the future.” – Eric Carle

5 Postpartum Care Musts For Mom

5 Postpartum Care Musts for Mom

Okay in all seriousness society doesn’t put enough emphasis on women’s postpartum care. I mean in every way our bodies are a being put through hell during and after pregnancy so in my opinion this needs to change!

What our baby body terrorists put us through during pregnancy;

  • Hormonal changes ( Big ones, that make us nauseas, swell up like Violet Borigard, fluid retention, memory and vision changes, sweats, and so much more…)
  • Weight gain, regardless of the number that we see start increasing on the scale,  your body is GROWING and STRETCHING, like a lot, for 9 long ass months!
  • Sensory changes, vision, taste and smells can all change and become affected.
  • Breast and Cervical changes, breasts grow in size and become more sensitive ( I went from a size 38 DD to a 40 H!)
  • Changes in hair, skin and nails.
  • Stretch Marks (hello warrior scars, I got those in the last week of pregnancy, and I haven’t exactly embraced them yet)
  • Mole, Freckles and skin tags. ( I ripped a small skin tag off my nipple in the shower, do not do that, I repeat do, not rip a skin tag off your nipple, there will be blood!)
  • Rashes, Boils, HEMORRHOIDS ( I had internal hemorrhoids rupture during pregnancy that hurt as much as when I was in labour or worse even!)
  • Circulatory system changes, shortness of breath, feeling dizzy, changes in blood pressure.
  • Changes in body temperature, so fuckin hot or so fuckin cold, there is NO in-between.
  • Dehydration.
  • Circulation issues, I had Vulva Varicosities and was on bed rest from 24 weeks. I know you will probably google that, if you want to save some time it literally is painful varicose veins on your vulva!
  • Gestational Diabetes .
  • And the list goes on and on…..

What our baby body terrorists leave us with when they’ve finally surrendered our bodies back to us

Vaginal Birth(which I had) and Caesarean:

  • Birth Pains, I have endometrioses and these cramps were much worse, its literally your uterus shrinking back to its normal size, its happens very quickly considering it spent a whole 9 months stretching!
  • Blood clots.
  • Breast engorgement or blockages (mastitis)
  • Cracked and bloody nipples.
  • Swelling.
  • Hemorrhoids and severe constipation.
  • Urinary problems.
  • NIGHT SWEATS ( you literally wake up in a pool of water drenched, I recommended sleeping on a towel or better yet a SHAMWOW!)
  • Fatigued ( well that’s an understatement especially depending on post, during and after delivery everyone is different)
  • and again the list goes on and on…..

As you grow closer to your due date, people will suggest things for you to do after you give birth and in your eight ish almost nine month state of mind you will say to yourself, “ya, ya okay I will” well I’m telling you here and now that, YA, YA OKAY YOU NEED TO!

There is so much emphasis put on the baby, I mean yes there does need to be, this little girl or guy is going to need to do ALOT of firsts in those 24 to 48 hours that are crucial for survival I get it, but there needs to ALSO be wayyyyyyy more emphasis on taking care of mom, mind and body, as well as educating on what needs to be done self care wise when they go home. I don’t know if it was just me, but probably the first thirty minutes that I was at home I WANTED TO GO BACK to the hospital and get another epidural for recovery! As a mother we will now and as long as we are living, just automatically be putting everyone else’s needs before our own but during the first couple weeks after birth we need to be selfish, I started almost hemorrhaging because I wasn’t, it can be very serious if you aren’t taking care of yourself!


In my opinion, these are the 5 most important tips you should be following and practicing postpartum….

*Warning in advance, some of these will be really hard to do because you don’t want to upset or offend anyone, I mean a new baby that’s born is so exciting for not just you but for everyone around in your life, so on that note that I say may the force be with you…..


This will be one of the hardest ones to put into action. My husband and I are both from big Italian families and have an amazingly huge support system. In the first 48 hours of Amadeo being born, in the hospital and when we first got home we had ALOT of visitors. That wasn’t the only issue, it was that we had visitors till REALLY late at night. Butttttt my body started getting really pissed off that I wasn’t resting and trying to heal, so I started loosing baseball size blood clots, like a lot of them, and from that point on my OB’s orders were NO MORE VISITORS until I was fully healed. You and your partner have just brought home a whole new teeny tiny human that you need to learn how to keep alive, give yourself time for your body and for all of the emotion of coming home to settle in before you open the flood gates.

2. Sleep when the baby Sleeps

Every person you see before you give birth will tell you that you need to sleep when the baby sleeps, but my god do you ever need to do it and here’s where I’m favour of woman in this scenario who either just pushed a baby out of her vagina or had one literally cut out of her, WE NEED MORE SLEEP THEN YOU DO DADS! Can I say it again for the people in the back! Yes your husbands should and will need sleep and rest, its been a lot for them physically and mentally as well, but no where near what you and your body are going through and have been through. Let’s just be real they don’t need to recover physically from birth unless you broke their hands from squeezing so hard! So dads take a shot of espresso, drink an energy drink, take a cold shower, do something, anything to just get some extra energy, this will be the first time you need to be stepping up as a dad and supporting your partner so she can physically heal from birth. You will see mamas, you will already be using so much energy that you wont have in the first place to even just learn how to feed your child if you try breastfeeding and pumping so SLEEP as much as possible!

3. Self care

So its actually all fun and games until this child exits your body and makes its appearance, because they will leave your body bloody and broken, girlfriend you need to help it heal. I have spoken to some women who are just good to go from either vaginal or C-section but I can tell you that’s not the norm. I wish that upon all of you but lets just prepare ourselves for the higher chance that you will have a painful wound to heal.

Here’s the essentials for postpartum self-care;

  • You need to shower every single day! Keeping your stitches clean and bacteria away is very important, plus it will have you feeling mentally and physically refreshed, if only for a couple moments.
  • Take your pain medication! I wasn’t keeping proper track of this and when you wait to long it’s AWFUL ! We set a timer and I took Tylenol and Advil at the same time to help eliminate the chance of forgetting to take one.
  • Eat and stay hydrated. This is a BIG ONE especially if your breastfeeding or pumping. If you’re not eating or drinking enough fluids it will affect your milk supply and mood!

4. Take time to bond with your baby

After you give birth its like an emotional and hormonal hurricane that will hit you really fucking hard! Everything is new, your exhausted, you don’t have a lot of patience, you can experience a lot of overwhelming feelings of happiness and sadness within seconds of each other. All of that is a normal part of postpartum, and a lot of time we forget or are unaware that one of the most important aspects to help regulate your babies circulatory system as well as our own is just by bonding. Having PTSD I spent a lot of time in therapy working on how different factors after you’ve given birth can effect how you bond with your child. I found those new born cuddles and skin to skin were like a drug in the first couple of weeks. I would feel like I had nothing left inside of me and then literally get a whiff of Amadeo’s sent and it would all go away and everything felt right in the world again. It’s unexplainable really. Just remember to step back from all the craziness that your learning for the first time like , changing diapers, feeding etc and just enjoy some of these first moments and take that time to soak it in and embrace it.

5. Have your partner off with you for AT LEAST two weeks

I say partner because my husband is the only person that I am truly myself with. I don’t bottle things up to protect his feelings or tip toe around things because we know each other under all circumstances especially how we work under stress. I’m my authentic raw self with him and when there is soooooo much physical pain and emotional craziness going on you need to be around someone who will not fault you for being just whatever you need to be in that moment. The Canadian government is finally recognizing how important having both parents home during the first 6 weeks postpartum is, that come June 2019 a 6 weeks additional paid parental leave will be granted for the other parent not on maternity or paternity leave. This time is so important for your relationship, to learn how to take care of this little human that’s come into the life you’ve built together. I know in those first two weeks of having my husband home with Amadeo I saw so much strength and love from within him that was so different and I hadn’t experienced before in our 9 years together. You will become such a strong unit and team, after supporting each other, so soak up every minute of it, the good, bad and ugly.


I have reviewed a product that carries that take care of all the postpartum care needs! I would have LOVED to get this as a present after I gave birth and will be gifting these in the future for my soon to be mama friends!

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birth baby
From: $102.00
The postpartum package: it may not be pretty, but it sure is practical! This bundle is all about supporting postpartum recovery for those parents that will be giving birth to their baby. While it is easy to get caught up in preparing everything for baby, don’t forget about you! Vaginal bleeding, hemorrhoids, tearing and stitches, having a baby can takes it toll on your lady bits! So, we’ve done the research, canvassed Moms who have given birth, and have created a complete and useful package to support your healthy postpartum recovery.

  • I reached out to the company and they are offering a 10% discount to my followers. Discount code: MYLITTLELAMB
  • this is not an affiliated product

” I had no idea it would be this much. I had no idea that I could handle it. I had no idea how beautiful and worth it all actually is.”- unknown

Memories & Moments

Memories & Moments

Our Fall Family Photoshoot

Photoshoot by Sarah Rowland

Creations Behind The Lens Photography



Mamas I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the dread and regret from my friends and so many women about not having professional photos that captured and documented their children’s growth and their families most precious moments.

And here’s why……

Pictures just aren’t being takin of us mama bears with our loved ones. Just last weekend a mama friend of mine said a sad but true statement, she said “If I were to die tomorrow my son ( he’s 2 years old) wouldn’t even know I existed, there’s no photo evidence at all!”



I want my son to grow up and see beautifully captured moments of his mom and dad with him. I want him to see how teeny tiny he was and how different he looked in each photo. I want him to see us in different seasons doing and enjoying different things together. I want him to see a visual of how much his mom and dad love each other, and when I walk by and catch a glimpse of these photos I want to remember the feelings of love, laughter, togetherness we shared on those days, looking our best and truly and some times quiet literally stopping to smell the roses together.






I found Sarah through my brother and sister in law who have used her in the past for their family photoshoots and I loved their pictures and her work. Instantly we hit it off with our email exchanges and I felt confident she was the one from now on to document these moments for Thomas and I. She is so warm, kind and easy going. You truly feel the instant you start the shoot that she cares so much for you and what she will be sharing through her lens.


I want to document all of my son, and families growth throughout the seasons. I know that one day when Amadeo is moving out of our home I will be so happy that I have all of these memories of the sweet life we’ve lived together.




Sarah offers packages at prices that make it affordable on my maternity leave income to achieve all of these professional photographic memories.

For Mini Family Photos she offers 20 min session at $60.00

For  Full Family Photos she offers 40 min session at $85.00

For Maternity and Newborn she offers 1.5 min sessions at $300.00

And every season she shoots minis for 20 min sessions at $50.00

I would recommend booking longer shoots with little ones to get those great shots and not feel as rushed, but to book minis every season with your family for all the reasons I’ve stated ! These are the shoots that will document the growth, changing in seasons and are SO AFFORDABLE! woot woot!



I just cant rave enough about our experience working with Sarah and Creations Behind the Lens Photography and we’ve officially booked every season this year, right up to Amadeo’s one year photoshoot and cake smash!




Take a look at her work and visit her website and social media pages for upcoming shoots and promotions! ( We will be doing a giveaway in the next couple of weeks so follow our Instagram accounts for details on how to win a family mini photoshoot with Sarah!)

Instagram: wedding_creationsbtl


Sarah has a couple spots still available for her fall minis this Saturday October 20th and next Sunday October 28th! Take advantage of the amazing colours, the leaves changing, warm(ish) weather, pumpkins around and corn field backdrops…. and for only $50.00


” Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”

– Aaron Siskind

Inside My Diaper Bag

My diaper bag essentials

Early on in my pregnancy I couldn’t help but fantasize about all the cute baby things I wanted to purchase. If you ask my husband I don’t have the greatest sense of money management, idealistic views about how much things cost, or how to differentiate between needs and wants very well but soon I started to realize how much these teeny tiny humans actually cost!

I started this post out this way because I need to take a minute to recognizes the beautiful Kate Spade bow diaper bag I originally dreamed of that was almost $400 dollars and just acknowledge the beauty, craftsmanship and shear class it would have brought to my now current (literal) shit stained life.

(moment of silence)

(moment pasted)

(still sad about this)

(coming to the realization of how I will never have nice things again)
(okay I’m good, lets move on)

So, I went on to search the world wide web to find something practical, reasonable in price yet still stylish. A huge assortment the baby items we own are from the brand SKIP HOP. (this is not an affiliate post) The quality of there items, functionality, reasonable prices, and adorable modern designs just win me over every time.
I choose the Skip Hop duo special edition bag. Bonus points for me I found it at Marshalls for only $49.99.

*Mom tip: Always shop Winners, Home sense or Marshalls first for baby or kids items, they always have awesome brand name products and almost half the price!

What’s inside my Skip Hop Duo diaper bag:

diaper bag

Diapers (of course!): When Amadeo was a new born I was using Pampers Pure, however once he moved up to size one diapers about 2 weeks after he was born they no longer fit his wide belly build. We now use Pampers Swaddlers, and I absolutely LOVE them! They haven’t leaked once, they show when he has peed so we can check without getting him completely undressed, they smell fantastic and are affordable.

Wipes: Pampers Pure is the only way to go in my opinion with wipes. They are 99% water and cotton enhanced, they honestly are so moist (love that word, not!) and work fantastic for even the colossal of shits! I’ve tried other brands like Pampers Sensitive and Huggies but I find they don’t clean up messes as good as Pampers Pure wipes do.

Bottles and Formula: I put pre-measured formula in bottles if we are going to someone’s home and ready-made formula bottles if we are going to be doing errands or to a restaurant, its easier and I know 100% its sterile. We use the Avent anti colic bottles and Enfamil ready made formula bottles.

Poop Bags: I just use the poop bags I buy for my dog. These are perfect for putting diapers in or dirty clothing so it doesn’t contaminate everything else in my diaper bag.

Diaper Cream: Our favourite diaper cream is by baby bamboo, it’s in a nice compact squeezable tube which is perfect for the diaper bag and travel. The cream is really smooth to put on and smells great.

Body Cream: We have the unscented Honest Company cream in our diaper bag, mostly for mommy and daddy for on the go but if we need to use it on Amadeo ( I find he gets super dry on his face ) there are no harmful ingredients and soft on his skin.

Nipple Cream: I use the Madela nipple cream! In the first few weeks of trying to breast feed and constantly pumping this was my best friend for my cracked bloody nipples. Women need to talk more about nipple care because your breast will literally feel like they are going to war during the first few weeks and we need to share how to combat to win that said nipple war!

Phone Charger: I also need to carry a charger with me, I find my battery goes very quickly (thanks apple!) but its very important for me to have a means of communication or to call for help in case there’s an emergency with Amadeo.

Burp Cloths: I always have a couple muslin burp cloths in my diaper bag, they are so multi purpose and come in handy when feeding.

Receiving Blankets: I put a couple receiving blankets in my diaper bag to put down if I’m going to lay Amadeo down to change him or play in public or at someone’s home.

Muslin Blankets: I used to just have one blanket on Amadeo for when he’s in the car seat but I’ve forgotten that one at someone’s home and then gone to the grocery store with air conditioning with nothing to cover him with for warmth or to cover the car seat from the stores light, so its always better for me to have back up inside his diaper bag.

Clothing: I have a couple different outfits including socks and hats in the diaper bag for Amadeo, we have had a couple up the back-poop blow outs in public and everything including socks becomes a right off, so its beneficial to have extras on you.

Once Amadeo is no longer a new born the contents in the diaper bag will grow and change. I put together a First Aid Emergency kit dependent on his age and needs. As for right now he’s to young for any medication but I have his health card on my person at all times.

I know its a lot to think about and constantly making sure you have everything you need is exhausting especially for our mommy brains but I try my hardest to replenish what I’ve used right when I get home if I can so I don’t forget and then missing something I need the next time we have an outing.

I’d love to hear what your diaper bag essentials are and which diaper bags you chose and why!

“Just you wait and see” Series ; Your home will never look like this with kids living here ….

“Just you wait and see”
Your home will never look like this with kids living here….

I’m a woman who is apart of the estimated 3 million Canadians who have been diagnosed with an anxiety or mood disorder, and a few people would say I also have a touch of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) when it comes to my home. When my environment is a mess and chaotic that can translate to my mind becoming that way as well. My environment is my number one sanctuary to recharge and relax after a day of giving my best self to others, so if it is all out of sorts and messy I’m unable to do so and it ends up leading to negative side effects to my disorders and mental health.

When you spend so much time, money and efforts to find which strategies can be put into place to help with our overall happiness and wellbeing, we need to try our hardest to implement them to achieve positive results in our lives! I have had to consciously make the decision to constantly put in the effort to keep my house clean and organized. When my life would get a bit crazier and more hectic I wouldn’t be doing that self care and it would make my stress and anxiety escalate as well as the mess. I would put myself into a vicious cycle that would lead to feeling extremely discouraged, because a small everyday clean up would now take FOREVER and would completely overwhelm me mentally that I would in turn shut off so to speak and not do any of it.
When I was about twenty-four weeks I was put on modified bed rest for the remainder of the (longest) nine months of my (life) pregnancy. My husband works construction and in the summer months he works cra cra hours, I couldn’t really turn to him to take care of the house and keep it clean, especially to my standards. (there are a million memes about this and I’m pretty sure husbands have not cleaned a certain way so we just get frustrated just do it ourselves lol) Working with my therapist we had to prioritize certain things that would help keep my spirits up while on bed rest and a clean home was one of them. I couldn’t clean the kitchen, bathrooms, dust, vacuum, wash the floors, all the big things that physically I wasn’t allowed doing we needed to find help. I could fold the laundry and put them away if my husband did the loads and brought them to me but that’s pretty much it. My husband and I started to make a budget that fit in a cleaner to help with all that we couldn’t keep up with and let me tell you, ahhh it was a relief. Having that done was so wonderful, that we decided to have her come and clean even after having the baby for those bigger clean ups while I attempt keep up my rest and enjoy my family!
When I have been told by many people OH just you wait and see when you have kids, they would continue with, your house will look like mine ( a disaster zone), you wont be able to keep anything organized, you’re children’s toys will be EVERYWHERE they will take over your house, you wont have time to do any cleaning, the kids never put anything away and if you don’t want to spend the rest of your night doing so your house will always look like a hurricane etc., it would make my chest tight and I would start to feel nauseas. Thankfully I would only feel that way for a minute because I’ve worked ten years in childcare, have three years of education under my belt, nannied for three years, and was a live in au pair for one, and I would remind myself, wait a minute this is SO possible I have worked with children and it’s possible to have them respect their environments!

Home and Childcare environments are very different. Its much easier to set up routines and stay consistent with the days schedules in a childcare setting, however as a parent you shouldn’t feel discouraged, there are many simple stragies that you can use in your home life to help, its honestly all about the FOLLOW THROUGH. In other blog posts I refer to my unborn child as a baby body terrorist, but honestly children at almost every age and stage other then newborn are mini terrorist’s and you should under no circumstances negotiate with them, EVER! As soon as we show signs of weakness that’s when they strike!

5 Simples ways keep your home organized with children

1. Practice what you Preach because Monkey see Monkey do

This is more important then most parents realize. When it comes to anything pertaining to your children’s growth and development of habits, they are learning it first and foremost from you at home. If they aren’t seeing that you’re caring and respecting your environment they won’t learn that its expected, important, or normal. Having them see through your actions is the easiest way to get them involved as just a daily motion of life. Another factor is not just that you shouldn’t just do the chores but show them that its enjoyable. Who wants to try to imitate doing something if the person doing it is miserable? Its never to late to change your lifestyle and your own habits, if a messy unorganized home is bothering you or disrupting your happiness, it will just take some time for your child to develop new habits, but stay positive and consistent and eventually they will, like you see the benefits of a clean and tidy home.

2. Finding balance between minimalism and over indulgence

A lot of the time the biggest factor in your home being unorganized is just the simple fact that you have to much stuff and not enough places to put them! For children this will effect how successful they will be able to keep their mind and physical space organized. Once a birthday or event with gifts pass a good practice would be to spend the day going through all of their things and donating what they no longer find joy from or play with to make room for the new toys. Not having a spot to put things away to clean up in your house will automatically make it more difficult to keep clean.

3. Having designated spaces (if possible designated rooms)

Parents who have reached out to me as an educator usually say that their homes have been taken over by their children and all of their things, and aren’t sure what to do, the first thing we often suggest doing is tackling their environment. This is honestly one of the biggest reasons why getting children to be organized and tidy in a daycare can be so successful, its because we set up their physical space and environment with this in mind. Clearly defining a space or room is very important. If you want your kitchen, living room and dining room to be just that, don’t have a bin for toys around and set up clear boundaries and stay consistent, that toys and playing happens only in the places you set up. i.e. Playroom, basement or their bedrooms. Having a designated overall space its crucial for your children to have clear understandings of where exactly their things belong to be able to put them back in the right places. This will look different for each age group. For example, if you have a younger child who isn’t reading yet a bin where the trains belong should only have a picture on the bin, but a child who is reading can have both or just the word trains. In our daycare we have each bin clearly labeled and it makes it easy for the children to know where they need to put the toys they are playing with when they are finished.

These are some of our spaces at my daycare for the children

4. Only have them be responsible for their messes (at first)

When you have a younger child its difficult for them to grasp the idea of “chipping in” and being responsible for different house hold chores other then a mess they’ve made themselves. According to Piaget’s theories, until a child is 7 years old they are egocentric and only really consider their own point of view. If you have them clean their messes right after they’ve made them, it will be quick, easy and manageable, it will avoid them from becoming discouraged and overwhelmed. Your child will feel successful and proud of their things, just like you do.

5. Only take one toy out at a time

This rule is the hardest but most beneficial for your child to be able to succeed in their cleanliness and organization in your home. It will take a lot of discipline and consistency to for this rule to be followed by your little one, especially if you are trying to re-train some bad habits. When we have new children come into our programs, it takes about a month or two to drill this rule into their little brains for it to come second nature to them. There will be times to “mix” toys but the expectation needs to be understood that it will take them longer to clean up and they have to agree to that before they take out more. Not only will taking one thing out at a time help them keep their areas clean or help them clean up quicker after they are done playing, but studies have shown that the least number of toys played with by children at one time helps with their imaginative and creative play, helps them develop longer attention spans, and establish better social skills.

If having an organized, tiny and clean home is important to you either before or after making a family for what ever the reason, I’ll be here to support you, help give ideas that work for me and my lifestyle and just listen to you vent.

“Small disciplines repeated with consistency everyday, lead to great achievements gained slowly over time.” – John Maxwell

If any of you fabulous mamas have any questions for me or any tips on this subject that has worked for you and your family please leave a comment above , I’d love to connect!

Vanessa Ravalico

Choosing age appropriate literature (Infant 0-12 months)

How to choose books that are age appropriate

amadeos book corner 2
Amadeo’s Book shelf stocked and ready to go for each age

In some book stores the sections are so beautifully organized and separated into suggested age categories, but for the stores that don’t clearly mark age appropriate books for your little ones, here are some tips for picking books that will help your child with their developmental milestones and keep them engaged.

(Birth – 6 months)

• Look for cloth or board books that your infant can safely explore and interact with. (basically, a book that your child can put into their mouths and grab or turn the pages easily on their own.)

• Choose books with little to no text, and high contrast pictures. Your infants vision is still developing so this will help grab their focus and attention.

• Choose books that will help entice and promote fine motor and cognitive interactions with your infant. Examples: books with mirrors, peekaboo flaps and textures they can feel to their touch.

• Choosing when to read to your baby is important at this age. Read to you baby right after they have woken from a nap and just been fed, they will be the most attentive and engaged at this time. This is the perfect time read, sing and play with your baby.


amadeos book corner


When reading to your infant it’s mostly about the bonding, one on one attention and having them hear different words and tones in your voice. There have been many world-wide studies that show even reading to your infant while your pregnant can be extremely beneficial for future language and cognitive developments.

infant books


amadeos book corner 3

(7 – 12 months)

• When choosing books to read to your child between this age group all of the prior suggestions above still apply and are helpful guidelines.

• Choose books that have a lot of familiar words and objects that correspond to your infant’s world. Examples: books with “mommy” “daddy” “milk”. When you are reading these familiar words repetitively, your child will start making cognitive connections.

• When reading books out loud try to make it more of an interactive experience for your infant. Ask, “where is the dog?” help point out the dog, maybe make the sound the dog makes and get your infant to mimic that sound.

• Read the same books over and over again. I promise your infant won’t get tired or bored of them (I can’t on the other hand guarantee that you wont) instead it will help with your child’s memory help them learn the words that you are reading to them.

books older


“The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
-Dr. Seuss


What are you favourite books that you read to your infant ? Comment above!

*Photos are taken by me from Amadeo’s Nursery

Who in the actual Fuck named it “Morning Sickness”

Who in the actual Fuck named it “Morning Sickness”

Reader disclaimer, this post doesn’t have any tips or tricks that worked for me in relation to getting any sort of relief from my “Morning Sickness”. This post isn’t for the faint of heart but instead for other women who will or are going through the same experience I did and just want to hear that they aren’t alone! Lets all feel okay to say that was fuckin horrible and I understand together.

4 fuckin months! I am one of the lucky ones, I’ve connected with women who experienced horrible sickness throughout their entire pregnancies (shoot me now) The medical term for this is “Hyperemesis gravidarum” sounds like a super cool harry potter spell but don’t let that fool you, symptoms feel like the rathe of he whom we don’t speak of himself.

Some of these symptoms include:

• Nausea or vomiting that persists throughout the day, making it impossible to eat or drink
• Vomiting that will occur more then three to four times a day and enabling you to keep down food or drink
• Weight loss (not ideal in pregnancy)
• Fainting or dizziness
• Reoccurring headaches or migraines
• Extreme fatigue

I had all of these symptoms reoccurring and disrupting my day to day quality of life for four long grueling months. (throughout most of my pregnancy I do refer to my child as my body baby terrorist)
I found out that I was pregnant with our child a couple hours before one of my best friends Christmas party. There truly are moments in your life that will always be imbedded in your mind, heart and soul and this was defiantly one of them for me.
* I would have to keep going back to that wonderful, magical, happy moment constantly throughout the time that I was pregnant and tell myself this is all worth it.
After finding out I was pregnant I call this week, my one week of pregnancy bliss because after that week came and went these “Hyperemesis gravidarum” symptoms came on like a raging bull in a china shop.

My whole life one of my biggest fears always had to be vomiting. I’ll never forget when I was younger I was so scared and dead set on not throwing up during a horrible flu that I decided hey if I just keep my mouth closed vomit won’t be able to come out. Spoiler alert if you’ve never tried this, man does it ever still come out but not before shooting out your nose first! So, this was the pregnancy symptom I was hoping and praying I would be able to avoid at all costs.

My days and nights all consisted of spending most of my time on and off of the toilet, not being able to eat or smell certain smells, and over all feeling like a bag of dicks. From the moment I would wake up at 5:30 am till whenever I went to bed I was vomiting almost every couple of hours, it brings you to the brink of shear exhaustion. Imagine having food positing or a stomach flu but it not going away for MONTHS, and it’s the no relief that mental drains you beyond belief.

I was constantly reading and trying to find every article on google, every tip and trick from Pinterest, advice from mom blogs, going and seeing my doctor, trying all the medications, honestly everything and anything to get some sort of relief, but nothing worked.

 So often as women we are expected to just keep things to ourselves and deal with them. I was told by many people during this stage of my pregnancy to just suck it up, it was normal and it will be done and over before I knew it. I think this is why I felt so inclined to talk so candidly about this and share my experience because I was constantly having other people try to down play my symptoms and say its just a normal part of pregnancy. (this was always coming from someone who hadn’t experienced it) Well let me tell you mother fuckers, when you are throwing up bile for four months straight, then come and talk to me, I guarantee your tune will change. Ladies that went through this I gotchu and would also encourage you to tell those people to fuck off.

I truly am very envious but always happy for those women who do have wonderful pregnancies and wish to do it a million times over. (please dm me if you fit this description, I will probably be looking into surrogacy for my next child) but for those women who have it hard and also have little body baby terrorist in them know that you truly are strong as a mother fucker and you fuckin rock!

” Why no, I have not tried crackers, ginger, small meals, or sipping water. I enjoy morning sickness so much, I thought I would just embrace the whole experience” – meme from pintrest

p.s men if you’re reading this post and this at all relates to your partners pregnancy you better start saving for an AMAZING push present! I’m hoping my will be a wonderful all-inclusive vacation without child, somewhere with bottomless margaritas!

Comment Above to share if any tips or tricks worked for you or just comment on your experience and share your stories about this so called morning sickness! I’d love to hear from you and start a conversation!

The “Just you wait and see” Series

The “Just you wait and see” series
Advice from an Educator

I’m going to make this an ongoing series because after the moment I announced I was pregnant, and I believe this probably never stops sadly, I kept hearing the same “Just you wait and see” followed by a negative or judgemental statement from someone who thought they were giving advice or they were just relieving in their minds how it was with their children at that stage.

My tribe of supportive women

I get it until you are in that moment or stage with your child you truly won’t know what it will be like, however there are a couple different factors that can change an outcome as well. We are all different in how we react, discipline, our patience thresholds, support systems, careers, education, and so many factors in everyone’s lives will not be the same. Children will all be different as well, ( even siblings) we are all individuals.
Usually this statement would be after someone had asked me a question about what I’m planning on doing in the future with my children about a certain subject only to just turn around and tear it down and belittle my intentions.

My Amazing co-workers at Glebe Parents Daycare

If you’ve read my “about me” post, I share about how my wish for this blog is to be able to have supportive conversations with other women and mothers, helping each other cope and give each other advice about motherhood. Not falling down this mom shaming path that makes us all feel as if we are failing or going to fail as mothers.

Friends and co-workers

I think we all consciously need to re think our statements after a mother shares her future plans and intentions for her family. Whether it be her children’s schedule, diet, education, routines, religious beliefs, anything that is shared we should change this natural reaction from saying “Just you wait and see” to something more positive like “That’s a great intention, Id love to hear some stragies your thinking, I had a difficult time with my children.” It would change the whole mood of the conversation and still make the mother feel valued! Who the fuck knows maybe she wont “Just have to wait and see” and what she does with her individual children may just work. If we change the conversations objective to asking their strategies and advice we may learn something that we can try implementing with our children that may work for us as well.

Friends and fellow supportive mamas

I will be sharing the different questions I’ve been asked with the following statement being made and different strategies I use with my children at work and with tips from my education background that can translate into you being able to apply it successfully to your #realmomlife.

Parenting is hard work and you will constantly be second guessing yourself, changing your strategies or intentions and the last thing you need is to hear a statement that basically implies, why would you even try your naturally going to fail at that attempt. Let’s raise each other up instead of unintentionally tearing each other down.

They’ve got my back!


Share Above in the comments on your favourite/ worst just you wait and see moments!

About Me

Most would describe me as a no filter, open book, raw kinda gal, but I haven’t always been that way.

It’s taken maturity, life experience, education, therapy, and lots of trial and error to realize that living an authentic life, translates to me living my best life.

Hi, I’m Vanessa Ravalico. I’m an educator, a wife, and first-time mama bear.
I would describe myself as a firey, no bullshit Leo who lives to make connections and entertain the masses. Between being put on modified bed rest at 24 weeks and taking an 18-month maternity leave, I knew I wanted to add substance, and purpose to my new reality as a badass mom to my first-born son. (there really is so much Netflix binging one woman can take while on bed rest)

My background is in Early Childhood Education and with ten years of experience using that knowledge in a non for profit licensed childcare centre , I’m looking forward to sharing ways to implement simple strategies that work in a daycare environment, to your/our every day insanity.

Applying my no filter way of life I want to share past and present experiences and strategies with my mental health and life’s moments, to inspire conversations and help empower women to know that mental health does not define us as women, mothers, or professionals but adds value, experience and empathy to our lives.

Womanhood, Pregnancy, and Motherhood have already proven to be some of the loneliest, scariest and confusing times in my life and having an outlet and platform to share is extremely comforting. Sharing, and connecting with women and mothers about different strategies, products, and life experiences truly is my ultimate goal with this blog, all while we have fun and laugh together.